Living in a French Impressionistic Painting
By Baylis
The past week has been bumpy. No full-blown seizures, however, a number of unusual things have been occurred. One morning I woke up at 7:00 AM. I got up and turned on my computer and wrote a response to a newspaper article that had appeared in paper a couple of days earlier. When I finished writing the response, it was 8:00 AM. I was a little tired and since my wife was still sleeping, I went back to bed and fell asleep. Sometime later I woke up feeling very well-rested and when I looked at the clock it was 5:25 AM. As I stirred my wife asked why I was getting up so early and I told her about the apparent time differential. She said that I must have been dreaming. I told her if I was dreaming I was sleep writing because I had a decently written essay on my computer responding to a newspaper article. When I checked my computer the essay was there.
At least three times in the past week, I have “awakened” from a nap or a zoning time-out and found myself living in a French impressionistic painting. What do I mean? Most everything further than 20 feet away had no definition to its edges. I could distinguish what it was, but it was not sharp. For example, this past Sunday morning on our drive to church, looking out my van window I felt like I was looking at impressionistic painting. I could tell that barns were barns but I could not be sure where the barns stopped and the outbuildings began. They all ran together. After we got to church and I looked at the flowers on the platform in church, I could not tell when one flower stopped and another started, but I could tell that they were flowers. However, in our church we use a video projector with the words to the songs that we are singing. It was strange; I could read the words clearly. They seemed to be sharply defined. But the background pictures were fuzzy, just like an impressionistic painting. After church, we went home. I ate lunch and turned on a football game. We don’t have an HD TV, but when the camera was on the players and the game, everything was sharp. When it panned across the crowd, the impressionistic images returned. I feel asleep “watching” the game. When I awoke from my nap, having missed the entire second quarter of the game, the impressionistic images were gone. Everything had returned to normal and all images were distinct and sharp. When we went back to the evening service at church, I could distinguish clearly the barns and outbuildings on the way to the church. I could also see the flowers on the platform distinctly. I could also tell that they were standing in water in clear glass bottles that I had completely missed earlier in the day.
Are these mini-seizures or the side effects of medication? To really determine what’s going on, my neurologist wants to catch me during one of these episodes, so I am now scheduled to spend a week in a local neurological-science center for constant monitoring. After a week of being a lab rat I may have some more stories to tell. Stay tuned in for those stories.
Can they not hook you up to an EEG that you can wear home for a day of constant monitoring allowing you daily living as normal as possible? I am sorry that you are having to struggle through all of this. Epilepsy held tight on to my body for more than a decade. Understand that I truly mean it when I say, I know what you must be going through. Never forget though: This too shall pass. It always does!
Good luck with your tests. I hope they provide you with comfort and answers.
Tara
Tara,
Thanks for your words of ecouragement and profound insight into life with epilepsy. As to the suggestion re the 24 hr EEG, I had one of those several months ago. Fortunately or unfortunately, I did’t have any spells during those 24 hrs. When the neurologist reviewd the results with me, she began her comments with the statement “Well, the EEG showed no activity.” I immediately replied, “It showed no activity.” SHe chuckled a little to herslef and said, “As soon I said that, I knew how you would respond. What I meant to say was that there was no unusual activity.” Because of two complications, it was decided on a longer test. The first complication is the fact that the small episodes are occuring more frequently. So it was felt that time was of the essence in trying to identify what’s going on. THe second complication is the fact that I also suffer from persistent Atrial -Fibrillation. My cardiologist believes that I should have a pace maker implanted soon. My heart muscle is incredibly strong. THe problem is that the chambers are very much out of rhythm. To do the implant most effectively and safely, they must lower my general overal heart rate, so they has adjusted my heart medicine. THe nest week or so the interactions of my heart and anti-seizure medications must be monitored closely. THus the in- facility testing seems to be the best choice. I have faith in an all-powerful God. I have had three experiences that alll the doctors who have treated me have said that I shouldn’t have survived. I place my life in God’s hands and I am comfortable in his decisions for my life. As humans, my wife and I would like to know what’s going on.