Within the past month, I learned several lessons from my 14-year old granddaughter. She shared with me an essay that she had written for her ninth-grade English class. The assignment was to write a memoir. I will admit that it brought tears to my eyes. Her essay showed the importance of family and the role that love and respect within a family should play. It emphasized the fact that the little things we do can make a big difference.
This may be the biased opinion of a grandfather who believes his granddaughter is one very special young lady, but I am convinced her essay exhibited a maturity far beyond what most of us exhibit, no matter what our age is. It also illustrated lessons that I have attempted to teach within the academy for 40 years that far too often have fallen on deaf ears.
With the permission of my granddaughter and her teacher (since it was an assignment), I take this opportunity to share the Memoir here at By’s Musings. I first present the essay and then will make some comments about it, speaking as a very proud grandfather.
Taken for Granted
Most people think that nothing will happen to them or the ones they love. I learned the hard way that it can. It was back in 6th grade when I was eleven years old. I was a very outgoing person and I took my grandfather for granted, because I thought that he was always going to be around. He has always been a great grandfather and he was always the first person I would call when I would hit a homerun at softball or if I made a new team. I would only get to see him three or four times a year when my grandparents would come to Pennsylvania from Michigan. Though our visits were infrequent, we always had a great time when they came in.
I remember answering the phone and the person said that they were my grandmother’s pastor and that they were looking for my mom. I was so confused and had no idea what they were talking about. I walked into the kitchen and said “Mom, Grammy’s pasture [sic] is on the phone.” When I was eleven years old I did not know that a preacher was also called a pastor. My mom just stopped and looked at me like I was stupid and took the phone. I went upstairs to get in the shower, and when I came back down she was crying her eyes out. I asked her what was wrong, and the only thing she told me was that my grandfather was in the hospital. My mom called her sister, and she said that they think that he had a stroke. Right after she got off the phone she called my dad, and he came home right away. My mom wanted to go out to Michigan right away, but there were a couple of problems. PSSA testing had just started for me that day and we did not know how long we would be staying in MI. My mom and dad both had to work, we had nowhere to put my dog, and Michigan is over 13 hours away.
Missing work and school were the least of our problems. We decided that my dog would go to a friend’s house. We got everything packed up, dropped the dog off, and picked up my aunt. Then, the longest car ride to Butterworth Hospital out in Grand Rapids, Michigan began.
I remember walking in and I just started to cry. I walked over to his bed side and said, “Hey Pop-pop what’s up?” and I can remember his exact words “The sky.” At that point everyone started to laugh. My grandmother explained to us that he was in a meeting at work, after the meeting he put his head down on the table and one of his co-workers asked him if he was okay and he never answered. They immediately called 911, and when they got there they thought he had a bleeding stroke. We went to my grandparents’ home and one of my grandmother’s friends made us a casserole for dinner and left it on her door stoop.
The next day at the hospital they did a CAT scan and found out that he had a brain tumor the size of a racquet ball, and it caused some hemorrhaging. They wanted to do surgery immediately the next day. My grandfather had hair, but he was bald on top of his head. They shaved all of his hair off and he looked totally different. The day he had his surgery was the longest day ever. My family and I sat in the waiting room playing Apples to Apples, sleeping, and reading to past the time till my grandfather got out of surgery. We played Apples to Apples, because I had it in the car for from the long car ride.
When he finally came out of surgery and we could go back and see him, he had gauze wrapped around his head. He had staples in his head and when I saw him I almost got sick. We stayed for a couple more days, but we had to leave and get back home. I did not want to leave. I was afraid that he was not got going to pull through it.
My grandfather has never fully recovered from this whole incident. As a result of the surgery he has aphasia which is a condition that causes him to forget words that people take for granted in our everyday life. He cannot walk without a cane or for long periods of time. Since the whole incident he has also been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, which causes him to shake a lot. My grandfather before the brain tumor was a very self-sufficient person, but now he must rely on my grandmother to do most things for him. My grandfather was very upset after he found out that he is not allowed to drive any more or return to work.
This affected my family as well. When we got home every time the phone would ring we would be scared that something happened to him. It really affected my grandmother as well, because she cannot do everything by herself so they will move back to Pennsylvania in April of this year. Anything can happen to the people that you love, so make sure that they know that you love them and never take them for granted.
. The important lesson that we must all remember is the last sentence of her memoir. “Anything can happen to the people that you love, so make sure that they know that you love them and never take them for granted.” I don’t think that she is being morbid in suggesting that whenever we see a loved one, it may be the last time we will see them. I believe that she is teaching us to make sure that we show our love to each other whenever we can, because we don’t know when that opportunity will be taken from us.
The lesson noted in the opening paragraphs of this posting I suggested fell on deaf ears in the academy is that everyone regardless of their age or status has something to offer. I believe that knowledge consists of content, skills and values. No one person has a monopoly on knowledge. If even one member of a class is prevented from offering their insights to the whole class concerning thoughts related to the subject of the class, everyone, including instructor and students, is short-changed. A complete education is facilitated by an open class in which everyone participates as both instructor and student. The role of the professor is not to serve as dictator, but to serve as a facilitator and guide.
Leave a Reply