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Is the Age of Trust in Sports Over?

It seems that you can’t watch a sporting news report on television, read a newspaper or sports magazine, or open a sports-related website without being subjected to accusations concerning a new scandal. What happened to our trust in the integrity and goodwill of athletes and officials? What happened to the love of sports just for the sake of competition? What happened to the spirit of the Olympics that is summarized in three statements?

Olympic Motto: “Citius, Altius, Fortius”  (faster, higher, stronger).

Olympic Oath: “In the name of all competitors I promise that we will take part in these Olympic Games, respecting and abiding by the rules which govern them, in the true spirit of sportsmanship, for the glory of sport and the honor of our teams.”

Olympic Pledge: “The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.”

For many decades, there have been incidents of athletes and officials who, by cheating, have not honored themselves or the rules of the game. However, the frequency and variety of accusations of  trespasses to these principles seem to have increased exponentially.

The smoke had not cleared from the automotive track at Richmond before the allegations of collusion were circling that several teams had conspired to control the outcome of the NASCAR race so as to fix the drivers who made “The Chase.” These allegations included an intentional spin out to cause a late race caution so that particular drivers could take advantage of a restart and gain a distinct advantage, as well as repeated unnecessary pit stops so that particular drivers would gain finishing spots and, thereby, deny other drivers their opportunity to participate in the championship chase.

Diana Nyad was hardly dry from her grueling and challenging open ocean swim from Cuba to Florida before allegations were floated that she must have “hitched” a ride with a tow rope. Making such a swim in 53 hours would be amazing for anyone, let alone a 64 year-old woman who had failed in four previous attempts. Someone had charted her swim and noticed a mid-swim increase in her swimming speed from 1.5 miles per hour to the astronomical rate of 3 miles per hour. Nyad’s explanation was that she caught an extraordinarily rapid current. A number of reporters quickly threw water on that explanation as highly unlikely.

Reports from the NCAA investigation of drug use and other improprieties in the football program at Oklahoma State University pointed to a widening circle of problems and people involved. We have heard claims about boosters providing $500.00 handshakes to football players. We have heard claims about student hostesses “entertaining” recruits. We have heard reports of coaches “turning a blind eye” to obvious violations of NCAA rules, institutional policies, and common decency.

Very recently there was a mild protest raised by the United States soccer coach when it was announced that the official for the World Cup qualifying game between the United States and Costa Rica was from Mexico. What was the problem? A number of US players had one yellow card hanging over their heads. If they received another yellow card in the game with Costa Rica, they would be ineligible to play in the next US game. The opponent for that game was Mexico. At one point during the game, a Costa Rican player walked up behind a US defender. Although the two made no contact, the Costa Rican player fell down and doubled over in apparent pain. The Mexican referee yellow carded the American player, making him ineligible for the next game against Mexico. After a review of the game, the world soccer federation FIFA has announced that the Costa Rican player is being investigated for faking a foul. Costa Rica is also in danger of being punished for its fans’ use of laser pointers and booing the American national anthem before last week’s World Cup qualifying match, according to the Costa Rican newspaper Al Dia.

Every day for the past month, there has been a story in the New York Times or on the home page of the ESPN website related to the use of Performance Enhancing Drugs (PEDs) by professional athletes. These have included daily updates on the status of the year-long suspension of Alex Rodriguez and his appeal. There have also been stories of slugger Ryan Braun telephoning former members of his fan club and personally apologizing for any embarrassment his actions may have caused them. A federal appeals court upheld the conviction of baseball star Barry Bonds for obstruction of justice related to the BALCO PEDs trials. In response, Bonds asked that his 30-day house arrest and two-year probation begin immediately. After years of vehement denials of the use of PEDs, disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong has just recently returned his Olympic bronze medal.

The troubles of professional golfer Tiger Woods, on and off the links, have been in the news for more than three years, since his marital infidelities were brought to light after an auto accident at his home right after a confrontation with his wife. More than six months ago it was revealed that Woods was dating skiing star Lindsey Vonn. Recently, there have been reports that Vonn has been seen “cheating on Woods.”  Vonn has also stated that she is not planning to get married any time in the future.

Former New England Patriots star, Aaron Hernandez, has been charged with first-degree murder in the execution style slaying of a friend. He is being held in prison, awaiting trial. Hernandez is also now a suspect in an unsolved drug-related, double murder in Boston.

Will we ever be able to trust anyone or anything in sports again? Is the age of innocence gone forever? Whatever happened to playing the game for the sake of the game? Have we been too naive to believe that there could be an Olympic spirit of hard work and fairness? Are we only left with an attitude of skepticism, an inclination to doubt the veracity of any accomplishment? Are we all just cynics, jaded with a curse of negativity? Have we all become misanthropes, people who hate and mistrust everyone else? Is there any hope left in the world of sports?

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Teach Me! I Dare You!

Some might say that my teaching career got off to an auspicious, if not unusual start. My first experience in a real classroom was as a senior in high school. I taught three sections of 9th grade algebra for six weeks, as a substitute teacher. This came about when one of our high school math teachers became seriously ill and the district couldn’t find a long-term math sub. I was available because I had completed all the necessary requirements for graduation except three credits. Therefore, I only had three classes and three study halls my senior year. The two remaining math teachers at my high school didn’t like teaching 9th grade algebra. I was an excellent math student who was successfully tutoring a number of students, so they talked the principal into putting me in front of the algebra classes. They provided lesson plans and I taught their lessons. To have the “necessary adult in the classroom,” the district hired an English sub to sit in the back of the room “to keep order.”   I enjoyed teaching. I think I did a good job at it. The students in my sections all passed the district’s 10th grade math readiness exam.

Although it’s been many years, I still recall my first class as a college professor. I remember observing students walking into that class as if it were yesterday. Unfortunately, I have lost track of many of those students. Although I tried to be the teacher that they needed, sometimes I wish I could go back and respond to them differently.

There were two in particular who were as different as night and day. One was from a well-to-do family. This student had everything he or she could have wanted. All this student had to do was ask. The student had a fancy car that daddy bought. The student had the latest in trendy fashions. The student had a job waiting in the family business immediately upon graduation from college. The student was intelligent, good looking, and athletic, a celebrated, all-conference player.  In everything to do with classwork, this student’s attitude and expressions shouted the questions: “Why do I have to study? Why do I have to work in class? I have everything I need.”  Every day this student would walk into class with that attitude that said, “Teach me! I dare you!”

The second student was the child of a successful athletic coach at another small college. However, this student was anything but athletic. The student was unattractive, lacked many social graces. and had a complete lack of coordination. Be an athlete? This student could trip over the sideline chalk. The rumor was that this student was enrolled at our school because the father was embarrassed to have this student around his school. This student threw him/herself into studies and barely got C’s. No matter what he/she did, it wasn’t good enough. So the student developed this enormous chip on his/her shoulders. When the student would walk into class, you could see in his/her eyes the lack of hope. You could almost hear the stutter, “I-I-I can’t do-do-do anything. Go ahead and te-te-teach me! I d-d-dare you!”

Through more than 40 years of working with students, these two students were just two of the many examples I have seen. Student after student would enroll in the colleges where I worked and walk into classes or my office, and by the attitudes they expressed, say, “Teach me! I dare you!” They had many different stories.

“No one loves me so why should I bother?” “My parents were supposed to be this perfect Christian couple. They were the pillars of our home church. I go away to college and they get a divorce. What’s the point? God let my family down. He is not going to care about me.”

“I want to be an artist, but my parents insist that I go into business. I’ll show them. If I flunk out or just barely graduate, nobody will hire me when they see my grades. I will be a failure in my parents’ eyes. However, I will be free to be the artist that I am meant to be.”

“I don’t see why I need this class to be a [fill in the blank]. Why do I have to take it? It’s not important for my major. I’ll never use this stuff as a [fill in the blank].”

“God has called me into ministry. I’m leaving school at the end of the semester to follow His calling, and do His work full-time.”

“I have done something terrible. I can’t forgive myself. God won’t forgive me. I am worthless. What’s the sense in trying to make something out of myself?”

Some were whispering; some were crying; some were shouting. “Teach me! I dare you!”

I was a teacher. What should have been my response to these students? Could I, or should I ignore them? After all, I had 10, or 30, or 90 other students in the class who really wanted to learn. As a teacher, I had a responsibility to help students learn. There were students in the class that really wanted to learn. They did the assigned work. They went far beyond the minimum. Those students expected me to help them. They were grateful when they realized that they had learned something.

Helping students learn is the ministry that God assigned to me. Teaching is what God called me to do. Teaching is what I studied and trained to do. It was exciting. It was exhilarating. (And it still is.) Isn’t it enough to work with those students that really do want to learn?  At the end of the day, I could cash my paycheck with no regrets and no second thoughts. Or could I?

I can’t get the faces of the myriad of students with problems out of my mind. Students that one way or another sat in front of me and said, or screamed, or cried, “Teach me! I dare you!” I had a responsibility to those students to get to know them; to understand their problems; to be engaged with them and determine what they needed and how best they could learn; to value them and help them value themselves; to love them because they were people. If I did that, I would have the right and the responsibility to stand in front of them and say, “Okay, I accept your challenge…if you accept mine. I double-dare you to learn.” With some, I was successful in that classroom scene. With others, I have often wondered if something I said or did planted a seed that would later grow fruit. If it didn’t, was there something else I should have done? I know that teaching and learning are mutual responsibilities, and that students share in the process. However, I was the teacher and that is supposed to mean something.

 

 

 

 

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Spiritual Tenacity: Examples from Scriptures

I introduced the topic of spiritual tenacity by referencing a recent sermon by our Associate Pastor, Rev. Richard Hall, at Calvary Baptist Church of York, PA. This post digs a little deeper into the topic by looking at several examples of tenacity from the Bible.

As I noted in the first post in this thread, my visual image of tenacity was the image of holding onto someone or something for dear life. It is a picture of hanging on with all of one’s strength, even in the face of overwhelming odds.

The first image that Pastor Hall painted for us was the image of the martyrs, the righteous saints of God dying for their faith. This image came right out of the letter to the church at Ephesus in Revelations, chapter 2:

 Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life. (Rev 2:10, KJV)

If a follower of Christ is faithful unto the death, besides the crown of life what awaits them? In Revelations chapter 6 we are told that they will be given white robes.  They will also remain at the altar and rest in the Lord until all the company of martyrs is complete.

And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of God, and for the testimony which they held…And white robes were given unto every one of them; and it was said unto them, that they should rest yet for a little season, until their fellowservants also and their brethren, that should be killed as they were, should be fulfilled. (Rev 6:9 & 11, KJV)

Therefore, what awaits  martyrs? Besides eternal life in heaven, there are three specific things. The first is a crown of life, which they gladly give back to the Savior. The second is a white robe which signifies being clean and free from the dirt of sin, and which stands in stark contrast to the deep crimson of the Savior’s blood which is the cleansing agent. The third thing is rest under the altar of God, which is in complete contrast with the state of their lives on earth leading up to their martyrdom. They are free of concern and pain.

If tenacity is the act of hanging on in the face of opposition, then there are two examples of tenacity that just jump off the pages of scripture at me. The first is the picture of Jacob wrestling with God, in Genesis 32:

And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob’s thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob. And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there. And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved. (Genesis 32:24 – 30 KJV)

In the middle of the night Jacob is alone waiting for Esau who is coming to meet him. Since Jacob is worried that Esau is coming to destroy him and his family because of all that he had done to Esau, Jacob sends his family to the safety of the other side of the river. While waiting alone a man approaches and starts wrestling with Jacob. Is it real or a dream? For Jacob the exertion and the results are real.  Jacob showed the tenacity to hang onto God for a blessing, and God rewarded him for it.

The second picture is the picture of the eternal security of those in the hands of God. In the gospel of John, Jesus replying to a direct question from unbelieving Jews as to whether He was the Christ, says,

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. I and my Father are one. (John 10: 27-30, KJV)

Paul reinforces this teaching in his letter to the church in Rome.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 35 – 39, KJV)

This idea of the tenacity of God, holding onto His sheep or children is not just a New Testament idea. We also find it in the Psalms. Psalm 73 is labeled as a Psalm or song of Asaph, the first music director of the temple singers. Asaph’s name means the gatherer. Asaph could have been the author, transcriber or just the collector. In this Psalm we read

Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee. But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works. (Psalms 73:23-28, KJV)

Again we see the picture of God tenaciously holding the hand of His children and followers. David echos this picture in Psalm 139:

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. (Psalms 139:5-10, KJV)

The picture of God tenaciously holding onto His children and His children tenaciously holding onto Him is all throughout the Bible. Returning to Pastor Hall’s sermon, he used a second word to describe the reciprocal relationship that God desires with his children.

That word was resolute. Pastor Hall used the example of Abraham Lincoln in his resolute desire to end slavery and to preserve the union. I had my own pictures of resolute. As I mentioned in the first post in this thread,  I have spoken about resolve in earlier posts, “Aphasia is not the end of the world”  and “Epilepsy is not the end of the world.”  

In these posts I told the story of the H.M.S. Resolute that was caught in the ice in Northern Canada in the bay that was later to be known as Resolute Bay. It was a story of determined survival. For me, the word resolute carries with it the picture of determination, persistence, and especially determined persistence. In my next post in this thread, I will further address this concept that is closely related to tenacity.

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My Favorite Soups:Appetizer Soups – Part II

As a quick review, I started this thread of posts highlighting my favorite foods. As I chewed over the list of my favorite foods in my mind, I had to subdivide the universe of foods into smaller bites. My first bite was soups. What are soups? The typical definition of soup suggests that it is primarily a liquid form of food which begins with a stock prepared from meat, fish or vegetables to which other ingredients are added, often in the form of solid pieces. In the first post, I suggested that there were four groups of soups. The four categories of soup were: 1) Appetizer soups; 2) Meal soups; 3) Dessert soups; and 4) Cross-over soups. In this post, I will continue to feature some of my favorite appetizer soups. My menu of favorites will be in no particular order, because I enjoy all of them equally. In certain settings, some are more appropriate than others.

In these posts, I attempt to describe the soup and, if possible, name a particular restaurant where this soup is featured. In some cases, I must apologize because the restaurant is no longer open. Thus you won’t be able to necessarily enjoy the same delicious tastes that I did. I still recommend the soup and encourage you to try to find a restaurant that prepares the dish well. Now, would you like a soup to begin your dinner?

1.  Lobster Bisque: A bisque is a creamy, smooth, highly-seasoned soup that has it basis in French country cuisine. Most of the time, the stock that is used is made from the broth of crustaceans. Since lobsters are considered the royalty of the crustaceans, lobster bisque is the creme de creme of bisques.

Since Maine is considered by some to be home to the best lobsters in the world, North Atlantic lobsters are often called Maine lobsters. Most fine restaurants in New England will serve their own version of Lobster Bisque. One of the best, both from my taste and many food critics, is served at the Atlantic Fish Company on Bolyston St in the Back Bay area of Boston, the home of many fine restaurants.

Outside of New England, the most exquisite lobster bisque that I ever tasted was from a Philadelphia restaurant that was renowned for its seafood soups and chowders. The Old Original Bookbinders Restaurant was opened in the 1890’s by a Dutch family named Bookbinders. During Its heyday in the 1950’s and 1960’s, it was the place to go in Philadelphia for fine seafood dining. After the 1970’s, it ran into serious financial problems, when it started to diversify, opening other locations in New Jersey and Virginia, and marketing canned versions of its featured soups and chowders to many national grocery chains. The Old Original Bookbinders is now closed. The other sites were sold off to satisfy creditors. The canned soups are still available in many grocery stores.

2.  Philadelphia Pepper Pot Soup: Philadelphia pepper pot soup is a hearty vegetable soup made with veal and beef tripe, heavily seasoned with pepper. The black cast iron pepper pot is as closely associated with the city of Philadelphia as the ceramic baked bean pot is associated with the city of Boston.

There are many legends associated with this hearty soup that assuredly originated in the Philadelphia area. One legend says that the Continental Army survived the harsh Valley Forge winter of 1777-1778 on this soup. Another legend is based upon an early 19th century painting of a street vendor selling pepper pot soup from a large black kettle at the Philadelphia Farmers’ Market. The Philadelphia chapter of the Public Relations Society of America (PRSA) uses a replica of a pepper pot as its annual award of excellence. This was proposed by Bill Parker, Philadelphia PRSA chapter president in 1968 and head of Campbell Soup Communications. In making this proposal, he reportedly said, “Like Philly’s famous soup, we put everything we have into all of our public relations campaigns.”

Many restaurants from South Central Pennsylvania eastward to Philadelphia serve their own versions of Philadelphia pepper pot soup. One of my favorite is from the Cross Keys Diner, located on Route 30, at Cross Keys Corner near Hanover, PA.

3.  Tomato Basil Soup: Tomato basil soup is a creamy, savory, tomato soup that is full of chunks of fresh tomatoes. Fresh ground basil adds a sweet, buttery, yet peppery taste with a very slight, delicate aroma of menthol. The Italian version is topped with Parmesan cheese to provide a nutty/fruity foil to the savory basil. The French version omits the cheese.

One of the best French versions of the soup that I have enjoyed was at La Madeleine Country French Cafe in New Orleans, LA. It was served with a small French baguette that was used to dunk in the soup. One of the best Italian versions can be found in the archetypal American chain grill, Applebee’s. The one problem that I have with the Applebee’s version is the weak Parmesan cheese that they grate on top of the soup. Even with the weak Parmesan cheese, Applebee’s uses an excellent variety of basil that combines very well with the tomatoes.

4.  Butternut Squash Soup: It’s name “butternut” gives us an insight to its sweet and nutty taste. In terms of texture and growing season, Butternut squash is closer to pumpkin than its summer squash cousins. In fact, in Australia and New Zealand, it is known as butternut pumpkin. Since butternut squash needs cooler weather to ripen, butternut squash soup is a fall/winter soup.

Butternut squash soup is a lightly pureed mixture of butternut squash, sweet onions, chicken stock, and heavy cream. In addition to the nutty flavor from the squash, it is generously spiced with heavy spices such as nutmeg, clove, cinnamon, fennel, cumin and allspice. Various restaurants will garnish it differently.

Three of my favorites are the Gilmore Collection of restaurants in Grand Rapids Michigan which uses a dollop of sour cream; Ivor’s restaurants in Seattle, WA, which uses candied pecans and sweetened butter.floating on top of the soup; and Lake Elmo Inn in Lake Elmo, MN,  which uses parmesan cheese and pumpernickel croutons.

5.  Miso Soup (Misoshuri): MIsoshuri is a traditional Japanese soup consisting of a basic fish stock made from kelp and dried bonito (mackerel or tuna) flakes. The second main ingredient is a soft miso (fermented rice, barley or soy bean) paste. This combination is then laced with firm tofu, green onions and mushrooms.

It is a common menu item at almost every Japanese restaurant. Since the choices of mackerel, tuna, rice, barley or soy beans will change the taste, each combination is a little different. My favorite misoshuri is from the Mikado Sushi Restaurant in Grand Rapids, MI. Since the taste is a little heavier and hartier than most miso soups, I believe that they use soy beans and mackerel

6.  She-Crab Soup: She-crab soup is a local delicacy of the tidewater region of the Carolina coastline. She-crab soup is a rich, heavy, gelatinous soup that is made from fish or crab stock, heavy cream, coarsely chopped vegetables, blue crab meat and the roe from blue crabs. Legend has it that it was created in 1909 on the occasion of a visit by President William Howard Taft to the home of R. Goodwyn Rhett, mayor of Charleston. Major Rhett asked his butler to “dress up” the usual, pale, bland crab soup that was normally served as an appetizer at the mayor’s residence. According to tradition, butler William Deas obliged by adding the orange crab roe to the soup to give it more color and more flavor.

It is a regional dish, because many states prohibit the harvesting of female crabs when they are carrying eggs sacs. These states are looking out for the sustainability of the crab population. So the canned she-crab soup that you can buy in grocery stores either comes from the Carolina’s or is made from crab roe imported from abroad. To get around the ban on harvesting crab roe, many restaurants have started serving faux she-crab soup. This soup is made with mackerel roe with blue lump crab added to give the soup its crabby flavor.

Many of the fine restaurants in Charleston still feature this soup as one of their primary appetizers. I was introduced to the delicacy at the elegant Circa 1886 in the heart of Charleston, SC. I very much liked this new sweet, but heavy taste that was quite different from the spicy crab soups to which I had become accustomed.

Stay tuned for the next round of appetizer soups. Until then, Bon Appetite.  

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Spiritual Tenacity

In late July, the Assistant Pastor at our church, Calvary Baptist Church of York, PA, preached a sermon entitled Spiritual Tenacity, based on Acts 14 and Paul’s experiences at Lystra, and Paul’s instructions to his mentee Timothy in II Timothy 3:14,

But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; (KJV)

Before the Pastor began his sermon, just its title sent my mind racing. What does tenacity mean? What does it look like? Earlier in July, Gettysburg celebrated the 150th anniversary of that great battle. There had been numerous mentions of the tenacity of both sides of the battle as they faced off against each other on Cemetery Ridge during the climatic conclusion of the battle known as Pickett’s Charge. I will speak more of this view of tenacity in a later post.

What dominated my thinking about tenacity during the prelude to the service was the idea of tenacity referring to the ability to persevere, to “hang in there,” or to hold on in the face of tremendous odds or overwhelming opposition. I kept visualizing two pictures that I had taken during a trip to the far U.S. Northwest in the year 2000.

The first was a picture of my wife. It was taken along the Road to Paradise in Mt. Rainier National Park, at the Martha Falls Viewpoint, next to the 100 feet deep Steven’s Canyon cut out by Unicorn Creek, which is fed by melting glaciers on Mt. Rainier. The picture makes it appear as if she is tenaciously hanging on for dear life to keep from falling into the gorge behind her. However, this picture is deceiving because she is actually standing on a 20 foot wide ledge between the rock in the picture and the edge of the cliff.

My wife hanging on for dear life

The second photograph that came to mind was the picture of a hemlock tree which is at least 50-years old judging by its size and shape. The tree is growing out of what appears to be a solid rock near Inspiration Point, at the edge of the “Grand Canyon of Yellowstone” a ruggedly beautiful gorge cut out of rocks by the Yellowstone River.

The hemlock tree probably started out as a little seedling in a small pile of dirt on top of a rock ledge. As it grew bigger and bigger its roots wormed their way into fissures in the weathered rock. As the tree grew older and stronger, the roots tenaciously dug into the rock to grab onto a solid foothold.  The tree now stands firm near the edge of a 1000 foot gorge that sees heavy winter storms, lots of snow and winds. It has tenaciously dug its roots into the rock in order to maintain its stability.

Tenacious tree on the edge of a huge abyss

These are my pictures of tenacity. The perseverance to hold on in the face of insurmountable odds and opposition.

The service began with the singing of the hymn “I am Resolved,“  a classic late 19th century hymn written by Palmer Harsough (words) and James H. FIllmore, Sr. (music) which speaks to the resolve and tenacity required of a follower of Christ.

Verse 4

I am resolved to enter the kingdom
Leaving the paths of sin;
Friends may oppose me, foes may beset me,
Still will I enter in.

Refrain:

I will hasten to Him, hasten so glad and free;
Jesus, greatest, highest, I will come to Thee.
I will hasten, hasten to Him, hasten so glad and free;
Jesus, Jesus, greatest, highest, I will come to Thee.

 Resolve is another great word which has its own visual images for me. I have spoken about resolve in earlier posts, “Aphasia is not the end of the world”  and “Epilepsy is not the end of the world.” However, the sermon and songs brought new visuals to my mind. The first picture of resolute that came to my mind was the picture of a dying Jim Valvano accepting the Arthur Ashe Courage and Humanitarian Award at the 1993 ESPY Awards Ceremony. I invite you to watch this 11 minute video provided by the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research. Click on the link below and open it in a new window. It defines resolute better than I could ever find the words to do so.

   Jim Valvano: Never give up; Don’t ever give up

Returning to the church service, Pastor Hall used several incidents from the life of Christ and Paul to introduce us to spiritual tenacity. Why do we need spiritual tenacity? From where does it come? Since this is such an important message, I will speak to those in another post.

To my friends and all others who might happen by this blog, in the words of Jimmy V, “Never give up; don’t ever give up.”

 

 

 

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Which Came First: Visual Thinking or Aphasia?

Does the old conundrum (“Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”) really have an answer? One can argue sequentially that to have an egg there must first be a chicken to lay the egg. However, from where did that chicken come? All of today’s chickens come from eggs that were laid by other chickens. The most recent announcement (October 2009) from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration claims that no chickens have been cloned. Thus, we can still ask, “Which came first, chicken or egg?”

I’m asking this question because I have noticed that there is a one-to-one correspondence between my struggles with words and my thinking in terms of pictures. On the other hand, when I am operating in a verbal thinking mode, I have much more facility with and memory of words.

In my sequential thinking mode, I find myself asking the question,”Which comes first: visual thinking or aphasia?” In this sequential thinking mode, I am really asking the question: “Does one condition cause the other?” In my visual thinking mode, I am trying to construct a story board. So which picture panel do I include first in my story?

I realize that my case is very unusual. My brain tumor was in the meninges in the right frontal lobe area. The small hole in my brain and the scar tissue caused by the removal of the benign tumor are in that right frontal lobe area. Although it is known as the executive brain, it is not the normal area associated with language.

Immediately after my surgery I noticed a decreased facility with words. I generally understood what people were saying. Almost all of the time, I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t find the right words to use. This deficiency was much more pronounced in oral exchanges. When I was writing, I had more time to come up with the right word.

When I would mention the battle that was going on in my mind, many people would remark that they could not see that difficulty in my responses. However, I knew it was there. I also knew that I was answering questions by using a preconstructed story board and a previously prepared script. Ad lib responses were slow and not always on point.

For six months following the surgery, I went through extensive speech therapy for the aphasia. Month by month, I noticed slight but continual improvement until I finally reached the point that therapist’s evaluations showed that I was in the above normal range for my age group. This meant that the insurance company would no longer pay for therapy.

However, three months after the speech therapy stopped, I had a serious setback. I experienced four tonic-clonic seizures within a 30-minute time span. I lost consciousness the moment of the first seizure, and I did not wake up until four days later in the hospital. When I did regain consciousness, I immediately knew several things were different. I had lost many of the gains in the use of words that I had achieved through the speech therapy. I also realized that I was vacillating between two modes of thinking. The first mode was a verbal, analytic, quantitative, sequential mode, which had been my normal mode prior to the surgery. The second mode was a visual, metaphoric mode which was brand new to me.

It was immediately back to speech therapy. This time my progress was spotty. Some days were much better than others. It all depended upon which thinking mode I found myself in. When I was in the verbal mode, my performance on the therapist’s assessments was good enough, so that five months after the seizures my insurance company again said that therapy was no longer necessary.

Shortly after the therapy stopped for this second time, the tremors and hallucinations started. One year after the first tremors and hallucinations, the dysesthesia started. I realize that my aphasia is far from the usual forms of aphasia. For more than one year, I have been battling the aphasia, tremors, hallucinations, dysesthesia, and visual thinking. These conditions are not universally present. However, when they are present, I have noticed that verbal, analytic, quantitative, and sequential thinking is much more difficult. Complicating things is that the tremors occur almost at random. They are not associated with either thinking mode, or the aphasia, hallucinations or dysesthesia.

Again, the question: “Which came first: visual thinking or aphasia, hallucinations and dysesthesia?” However, in reverting to analytic thinking for a moment, are these factors occurring simultaneously because there is a third factor that is causing these two observable factors?

In the meantime, I know that if I am fighting hallucinations and dysesthesia, the visual thinking is not too far behind, and vice verse. Although I know that I can write in either mode, verbal or visual thinking, it is easier when I’m in verbal mode. Sometimes I can’t wait for the verbal mode to show up, so I plow ahead writing in the visual mode.