Have you ever begun a journey with one destination and itinerary in mind, but in the midst of your travels, you hit some minor snags or a major detour and have to change your itinerary? Since it happens to me so frequently with my writing, I have discovered at least three solutions to this particular problem. The first one is to stop writing entirely. This approach removes any possibility of getting lost in my thoughts. However, I find this approach totally unacceptable since it also completely eliminates the possibility of discovering something new and exciting. This seems to me to be close to the approach that the third servant takes in Christ’s parable comparing the kingdom of heaven and the actions of three servants when their master is out of sight:
For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey… But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord’s money…Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. (Matthew 15: 14-30, KJV)
Writing is really the one way that I have left to express myself and make a difference in this world. In spite of my health battles the past seven years, I still have a dream. Higher education can be a vibrant force to change the world in which we live. I would still like to be part of those activities. I see so many errors being made in higher education. I see mistakes of commission and omission. I see negligence, ignorance and willful malpractice. I want to help solve the many problems that are so prevalent. However, the once normal process of engaging in live, extemporaneous debates is no longer an option for me. When I am trying to speak, words are only coming hesitantly. My verbal aphasia is stubbornly hanging on. When I share this with people, they express surprise. They say that they would have never known it from our conversation. What they don’t know is that I am putting on act. When I am preparing to talk to someone, particularly if the particular conversation has been arranged sufficiently ahead of time, I try to think of what questions I might be asked, and I go over answers in my head. I rehearse those answers several times before the actual conversation. When the conversation occurs, I play my role to the best of my ability. I am reminded of Macbeth’s soliloquy from Act 5, Scene 5, just after Macbeth is told of Lady Macbeth’s death and the advance of Macolm and McDuff toward Dusinane:
19 Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
20 Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
21 To the last syllable of recorded time,
22 And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
23 The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
24 Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
25 That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
26 And then is heard no more: it is a tale
27 Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
28 Signifying nothing.
My ability to analyze situations is still intact, but quite a bit slower than previously. I need time to think things through. My memory for some things is still exceptional. I can pull events and articles out of my memory bank if I am given the time to think about them. Remembering to turn off the light when I leave a room is completely lost on me. Thus, I must give the option of surrendering writing an absolute “thumbs down.”
The second answer for my writing is to finish a topic completely before publishing blog posts on the subject. This response has some merit. However, it requires a great deal more patience than I usually have. Waiting doesn’t always have to do with patience. Inaction can be caused by fear of rejection or ridicule, the fear of being wrong and the desire for perfection (sometimes known as paralysis by analysis), too much concern for the final destination and not enough for the journey, The famous poem, Katrina’s Sundial (aka “Time is”) by Henry Van Dyke speaks to some of the causes and results of inaction.
Time is
Too slow for those who Wait,
Too swift for those who Fear,
Too long for those who Grieve
Too short for those who Rejoice,
But for those who Love,
Time is not
When I find myself caught up in the enthusiasm of a topic, I want to get a post out there for reaction from others. This is my academic training kicking into place. In the world of the academy it is common place to put your thoughts out into the market place of ideas for critique. “I question that conclusion!” may be considered the unofficial mantra of the academy, A debate is the formal presentation of an argument in a disciplined manner. Modern debates are the descendants of the dialogues of ancient times. The oldest dialogues in scriptures are probably those recorded in the book of Job. They begin in the very first chapter:
Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan came also among them. And the Lord said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it. And the Lord said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought? Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? Thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land. But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face. And the Lord said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the Lord. (Job 1:6-12, JKV)
With God’s permission, Satan went out and wiped out Job’s children and all his wealth. What was Job’s reaction?
Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly (Job 1:20-22, KJV)
God won the first round. Satan didn’t give up. In Chapter 2, Satan challenges God by suggesting that if Job’s health were taken away, then he would turn on God. God said, “Okay, Satan, try it, You can do anything, short of taking his life.” Satan took the challenge and hit Job with everything, short of death itself. What was Job’s response?
So went Satan forth from the presence of the Lord, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown. And he took him a potsherd to scrape himself withal; and he sat down among the ashes. Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? Curse God, and die. But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips. (Job 2: 7-10, KJV)
God won round two. However, the dialogues are not done. In Chapter 2, we are introduced to three of Job’s friends:
Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven. So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great. (Job 2: 11-13, KJV)
These were good intentioned friends. They saw Job was really hurting and they wanted to help him. Probably the best thing they did was keep quiet for seven days, because when they opened their mouths, they proceeded to stick their feet in them. After a week of silence, Job finally speaks in an eloquent soliloquy in Chapter 3. In Chapters 4-31 we have three rounds of heated debates/dialogues between Job and his “friends.” When it becomes clear that there has been no winner in these debates, Elihu, a young servant speaks up and takes all four of the combatants to task in Chapters 32-37. Finally, God speaks directly to Job in Chapters 38-42. When Job admits that he has been wrong and that God has been right all along. God rebukes Job’s three friends and blesses Job.
One of the primary intentions of a debate is to hone one’s own arguments in order to convince your opponent and any observers. In the course of a debate, one has the privilege of pointing out the weaknesses in your opponent’s position, while strengthening and fortifying your own position. The idea of two people knocking off each other’s rough edges is definitely encouraged by Solomon when he writes:”Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17, KJV) However, as we have seen in the story of Job, when humans argue or dialogue, both parties can be wrong.
Two approaches down and one to go! Thus, we are left with the third solution, which is to publish posts as soon as they come to me and I finish writing that post. This approach reminds me of the days when my wife and I would take a Saturday drive looking for antique shops which we had never previously visited. We usually had a good idea of where we were going. However, often we would see signs for shops that were not on our original radar screen, and we would turn down a different road to see what that road had to offer us. If I follow this modus operandi in terms of my writing, I will occasionally have to explain to my readers what I am doing and why I am not following my announced itinerary. In military terms, I will have to retreat, regroup, form a new plan of attack and forge ahead. If you haven’t guessed it already, for this particular series of posts, I am proceeding on Path 3.
To stay in touch with what I am thinking and writing, I invite my readers to subscribe to this blog by supplying a working email address in the box in the right margin. You can also follow me on Twitter. @ByBaylis is my Twitter handle. SInce I made such a fuss about dialogue in this post, please engage with me. If something strikes you as way out of bounds, let me know and include an explanation so that we can debate it. If you like something, please let me know that also. Affirmation feels good. However, be warned. It might encourage me to write more. Please stay tuned. I don’t know what’s coming next out of my computer. I won’t know until I wake up tomorrow morning and start writing again.