Are you kidding me? Who would want a toxic waste dump in their back yard? However, who cares about crows anyway? Crows are noisy, dirty birds. They are omnivorous. They eat anything that comes along. They can devastate a garden or a crop of corn before it can be harvested. Few people worry about eliminating these nuisances from their backyards. Right?
This fourth post in my NIMBY series is the second example of a first pick alternative. More of that a little later. I begin by explaining the second half title of this post. “A murder of crows” is an expression that goes back to at least the 15th century. It is a poetic expression that refers to a group of crows. The phrase was included in “The Book of St. Albans”, a compendium of collective nouns, published in 1486.
The term murder of crows may have come from several traits of crows. They will eat anything that they find available, especially carrion. However, if they come across a nearly dead or helpless animal, no matter its size, they are not above picking the animal to death. This includes their own species. When crows are sick or dying, their companions will pounce on the poor brother to finish him off, and then make a meal of him.
The second trait that might suggest calling a group of crows, a murder of crows, is their annoying, raucous calls. This is especially true when a group of them seem to be taunting each other with the calls. How many times have a group of kids playing noisily been chastised by a parent, yelling at them, “Knock off the noise! What are you trying to do, kill each other?”
A 1998 movie written and directed by Rowdy Herrington, named “A Murder of Crows” is part of the inspiration of the title of this post. In his suspenseful thriller, a disbarred lawyer steals the unpublished book of a dead man and publishes “A Murder of Crows” as his own work. The book tells the story of the murder of five unscrupulous lawyers. The title is derived from a reference in the book to the murdered lawyers as crows.
I have indicated that this post will deal with a choice between toxic waste dumps and a murder of crows. Where am I getting this comparison? It comes from a joke on one of the late night television shows. I don’t remember which show, but I do remember the joke. The comedian began his routine by referencing two national reports.
The first listed the location of all the toxic waste superfund sites by state in 2011. New Jersey topped the list with 116 sites. The next closest was California with 98. The 116 sites in New Jersey equaled the total sites for the 25 states with the fewest superfund sites. The second report was a 2012 report of the American Bar Association listing the number of lawyers per capita in each state and district of the United States. Probably not surprising, Washington, D.C. topped the list with New York in second place. What might be surprising is the difference. In D.C., there are more than 800 lawyers per 10,000 residents, or one lawyer for every 13 residents. In New York, there were 84 lawyers per every 10,000 residents, or one lawyer per 120 residents. Thus, in D.C. there are almost 10 times more lawyers per resident than in New York.
After giving out these statistics, the comedian ask the natural question: “Why should New Jersey have the superfund waste dumps while Washington, D.C. has the lawyers?” The quick, obvious answer was: “Washington won the coin toss, but deferred, just like they do with every other decision, until the second half. That gave New Jersey first choice and they took the waste dumps.”
There is a very logical reason why Washington, D.C. has the highest number of lawyers per capita in the country. The main business of Washington, and even the reason for its existence, is to be the legal center of our country. Almost every thing in the city revolves around laws. From writing laws, enacting laws, enforcing laws, interpreting laws, and adjudicating laws, who is better qualified than lawyers? The facetious answer to this question might be, “Anyone, but a lawyer.” The United States is a country of law, governed under the rule of law. Throughout history, the world has seen many examples of what happens when a society descends into lawlessness. This makes lawyers indispensable. However, I’m tempted to paraphrase a line from “Fiddler on the Roof.” “May God bless lawyers, and keep them out of my back yard.”
There are also very logical reasons why there are so many toxic waste dumps in New Jersey. They begin with the history of New Jersey. For many years, New Jersey’s economy has been very heavily dependent upon dirty industries. By dirty industries, I mean manufacturers involved in the production and distribution of potentially harmful products and products with potentially harmful byproducts. New Jersey is the home of a number of refineries, paint and solvent manufacturers, chemical companies, building material plants, automotive-related industries, and electronic-based businesses. In the face of the high industrial concentration in the parts of the state, New Jersey is additionally the home of many farms which can also be major polluters.
Just because the products associated with the pollution are located in New Jersey, why should the waste also be sited in New Jersey? There are three main reasons. The first two are economics and convenience. It is so much cheaper and easier to dispose of waste near to the location it was created. The third reason is actually a form of the NIMBY argument. “Why would other locations want to take New Jersey’s dirty waste? I don’t want my neighbor’s waste and junk in my back yard.” Thus New Jersey was stuck with its own waste.
I’m not sure I have helped you answer the question: “Which would you rather have in your back yard, a toxic waste dump or a murder of crows?” As a country, both have provided many benefits. Personally, I am leaning toward a murder of crows. Dealing with a bunch of dirty birds is more appealing to me than trading potential health hazards for financial prosperity .
My next NIMBY post returns to scriptures. In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus is under fire from a hostile lawyer pressing him on the issue what was necessary to inherit eternal life. Jesus turned the question back on the lawyer by asking him, “What does the law say? How do you read it?” After a testy exchange, the lawyer asks Jesus directly, “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus responded with the parable of the Good Samaritan. In the post “Who is My Neighbor?” I will discuss the implication of the parable for NIMBY debates in today’s world.
With all the negative interactions in scripture which involve lawyers, I’m having second thoughts about my first choice. It reminds me of an old joke:
Q: Have you heard any “good lawyer” stories recently?
A: I didn’t know there were any?
Do I really want a whole of bunch of loud, obnoxious lawyers arguing in my back yard, spewing their poisonous venom into the air? Maybe the toxic waste dump in my back yard isn’t so bad after all? Is there any difference?
You caught me. I am guilty of hyperbole. Obviously, I have fallen into the trap of dumping all lawyers into the same trash heap. I know, as well as you, that not all lawyers are bad. Many are good, decent human beings, whose work is absolutely necessary for the well-ordered operations of our communities and country. These lawyers should be honored. It’s the bad apples that need to be identified and eliminated.