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Signs for a Positive Life

My previous posting concerning signs, “Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs” was meant to be a less than totally serious look at how we use signs to communicate. The first two signs illustrate what can happen when we try to be clever and use humor to remind people of things that should be obvious.

The third sign was the most serious of the three signs. This sign was asking people to look at themselves and decide how satisfied they are with their own lives using a satisfaction scale that had a few new twists to it.

This post comes from a recent excursion my wife and I recently took through a combination nursery, produce stand, deli, bakery and craft shop. We are fortunate enough to live in a rural area where such shops abound. For those of you in urban areas, the next best choice for you would be to walk through the farmers’ market that almost every city has.

As we examined the offerings of the country stand through which we strolled, there were hand-made arts and craft signs everywhere. Five of them really caught my attention.

The first consisted of words that should be words of encouragement to anyone who has experienced aphasia. The sign read

Even if you can’t find the words,
God already knows what it is that you’re trying to say.

I pray that God will help me realize this, but not use it as an excuse to quit searching for the lost words.

The second sign was a humorous sign which expresses a sentiment that I pray God will keep me from stumbling into purposefully:

When in doubt, mumble.

I believe the third sign was meant to be a humorous reminder directed toward all of us who have been work-alcoholics or hobby enthusiasts at some point throughout our lives. It encouraged everyone to keep their priorities in order: 

My garage needs me now;
The least I can do is be there for it

How easy is it to prioritize activities over people? I know I must ask my family for their forgiveness for past occurrences of misplaced priorities.

The fourth sign was a serious look at how to prioritize one’s life:

As long as the day is full of time,
There will be room for your hand in mine.

God, thank you for my wife and giving us time together. Remind me to go for walks for no apparent reason with my wife, hold her hand and tell her “Thanks for being there.”

Likewise the fifth sign expressed a positive outlook on life to which each of us should aspire: 

Cherish yesterday
Dream tomorrow
Live today

Lord help me pray, “God please help me come to each day, cherishing the fond memories of yesterday, dreaming big about tomorrow and living in the presence. Please give me the proper perspective on remembering the highlights of past events. Help me to dream appropriately big dreams about the future and to make realistic plans for the future. Help me to live in the present, not dwelling on either the past or the future, but at the same time not forgetting about them.”

This is the one sign that I plan to carry with me, if only in my head. It reminded of the line from the Five Man Electric Band’s song that says, “Thank you, Lord, for thinking about me, I am alive and doing fine.” How are you doing?

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Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

Those of you who have followed my postings know that my wife and I have just completed a 650 mile move to be closer to our children and their families. This necessitated finding a whole new set of doctors. As I made the rounds of my new doctors, signs in their various medical venues reminded me of the 1971 hit song by the group Five Man Electric Band, “Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs.” For those of you who are either not old enough to remember 1971, or those of you who are too old to remember 1971, here is a download of that memorable song:

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeT5otk2R1g

 I was particularly fascinated with three signs. The first two of these signs were located in public or semi-public bathroom facilities. They reminded me of the pair of lines from the song:

“Blocking out the scenery; Breaking my mind.
Do this; don’t do that!  Can’t you read the sign?”

I can’t say the signs were blocking out the scenery. However, they were definitely “breaking my mind.”

One of the signs was in a combination shower and restroom located in a testing facility in a hospital, used by both in-patients and out-patients. A computer generated sign on an 8½X11 sheet of plain white paper was taped to the inside of the exit door. In bold print it said:

 “Patients please dress or cover-up before leaving the shower and returning to your room.”

 This sign gives new meaning to the phrase, “Just trying to cover your rear end.”

 The second sign was in the public men’s room located off the lobby of a doctor’s office. The sign was brown plastic with white engraved letters. The sign was firmly attached to the ceramic tile wall, behind the only toilet in the room, by what appeared to be clear glue. Residue of dried glue had oozed out from behind the sign at the top, bottom and both sides of the sign.

 The white etched letters of the sign read:  “Do not flush anything down this toilet except toilet paper.”

 Apparently one of the doctors or nurses realized the problem this command was posing. Someone had taken a piece of white surgical tape and stuck it to the wall below the sign. Then they had taken a bold-tipped Sharpie and scribbled on the tape, “What about poop?”

The third sign to which I was drawn was posted in the waiting room of one of my new doctors. It presented a quality of life Likert scale. For many years, I have used Likert scales in surveys to gather information, but I had never seen this particular Likert scale. The idea behind a Likert scale is to use points on a straight line continuum or a sequence of numbers to indicate one’s feelings about a particular topic. One of the most common Likert scales is the following 5-point scale:

  • Strongly Disagree
  • Disagree
  • Neutral-No Opinion
  • Agree
  • Strongly Agree

The respondent is asked to blacken the appropriate circle to indicate his or her feelings toward a particular statement such as:

 “President Obama is doing a good job managing the United States economy.”

The sign in the waiting room that fascinated me was asking patients what they thought about their quality of life. The suggested answer scale was a 7-point Likert scale: “

  • Delighted
  • Pleased
  • Mostly Satisfied
  • Mixed Equally Between Satisfied and Dissatisfied
  • Mostly Dissatisfied
  • Unhappy
  • Terrible

Which circle would you blacken to describe your quality of life?

This sign brought me back to one verse from the Five Man Electric Band song about signs. 

“And the sign said, “Everybody welcome. Come in, kneel down and pray.
But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all, I didn’t have a penny to pay
so I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign.
I said, “Thank you, Lord, for thinkin’ ’bout me. I’m alive and doin’ fine.” 

Returning to the question posed by the sign in the doctor’s office, which circle would you darken if I asked you about your quality of life? For my own life, I would have to say:

“Mostly satisfied—Thank you, Lord for thinkin’ about me. I’m alive and doin’ fine–most of the time.”

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Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road?

In my blog posting “Moving Right Along” I used a video featuring Dr. Who and a song from the Muppets to introduce the idea of a move half-way across the country for my wife and me. In this blog about the culmination of that move, I feature the opening line to what may be the oldest and most used joke in the world. It would not surprise me if someday we discover a cave drawing of a chicken crossing a path. If the Guinness Book of Records had a category for jokes with the most variations, this would be the winner without a cluck of dissent. Every five-year-old has his or her own answer to this question, which represents the three most basic questions of life: who, what, why. The who is the chicken. There are two whats: The first is the road that the chicken crossed; the second is the action of crossing the road. The why is the punch line to the joke.

One of my favorite answers is the obvious answer: “to get to the other side.” I also like the sarcastic answers:

  • “to prove to the opossum that it could be done;”
  • “because it was too far to walk around;”
  • “because the chicken heard a rumor that the Colonel was opening a new KFC franchise next to where he was standing;”
  • “the chicken saw a farmer dump half of his load of corn kernels on the other side of the road;
  • “the chicken saw a cute chick on the other side of the road.”

Why did I think about the chicken joke? My wife and I didn’t chicken out. We have completed the 650 mile move, crossing many roads along the way. Why did we do it? With my medical retirement, there were more attractions on the other side of the country and across many roads. We are now within 30 minutes of each of our daughters and their families, instead of 650 miles. In our first week after crossing all those roads, we got to see our older grandson sing in his school’s spring choral concert. The theme of the concert was Rock and Roll Forever. Our grandson’s costume was a white tee-shirt and a black leather jacket ala Fonzy. It was a special treat to see him and his fifth grade classmates sing some of the songs my wife and I listened to and sang as teenagers (several years ago).

This coming week, we will be able to see our older granddaughter play as a ninth grader in the state’s district softball playoffs. We were one week late in crossing all those roads. Thus, we missed the game in which from her catcher’s position, she threw out two runners trying to steal second base. While at bat, she hit a home run and two singles. The only time the other team got her out, she hit a screaming line drive that could have been another homerun, if the left fielder had not made an unbelievable catch.

In the last inning of the game, she was disappointed when the other team intentionally walked her with the tying running on second base. Her coach consoled her by pointing out that she did score the winning run when the two batters behind her got hits. He tried to encourage her by pointing out that the intentional walk was a sign of respect of her batting ability. He told her that if she continues to improve her hitting as she has this year, she should expect many intentional walks throughout her career.

My wife and I look forward to watching her develop as a ball player, as well as her as a student. She has just recently been inducted into the National Honor Society. After high school and college, she wants to be a veterinarian and a professional softball player. As a very biased grandfather, I think she can do it. It will be great to be close enough to see her try. That’s why we crossed all those roads.

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Moving Right Along

For several years, my wife and I have known this day was coming. Ever since the explosion of the blood vessel in my head and the removal of the benign meningioma that had attached itself to the right frontal lobe of my brain, we knew that we needed to move back to Pennsylvania to be near our family. We wanted to see our grandkids growing up. We wanted to see our younger grandkids enjoy their school and church programs. We wanted to see our older granddaughter develop into the excellent student and athlete that as a ninth grader she is showing the promise of becoming.

Through the years there were times when our daughters needed our help and support. Now, it was our turn to need their help, support and comfort. Doing those things from a distance of 650 miles had become much more difficult for all of us. This illustrates one of the biggest shortcomings of a mobile society. It also highlights the sacrifice that military and missionary families are called to make in service to their country and their God. As my wife and I faced the projected difficulties and pleasures of the upcoming years, dealing with them from a distance of 15 to 20 miles was much more appealing to us.

Therefore, three years ago when it was apparent that I could not work full-time as a college professor or administrator, we put our house up for sale. The past three years have not been the best three years to try to sell a house. Our real estate agent kept urging us to be patient. He would say, “Your house is a gem, the right buyer is out there.” He would remind us, “The house is a three-story, Sears house, erected in 1922, in mint condition. It is a classic, a house with character. It is just waiting for the right person to come along and buy it.”

This past fall the right person came along and made us an offer we couldn’t refuse. This kicked our preparations for a move up a couple of gears. We hurriedly found a one-level, first floor apartment that has three bedrooms so that I can have an office, my wife can have her sewing room and we have room to entertain overnight guests. It met our other non-negotiable condition: it is within 20 miles of each of our daughters.

Having made four long distance moves previously, you would think that my wife and I would be seasoned professionals at the moving process and know what to do when. We should have been old hands at this process. However, that is precisely the problem: “We are old hands.” There is one more complication. This move is coming out of our pocket. The tab for the previous four were picked up by my new employer. This time we have to pay the entire bill ourselves, which is no small task for a couple on a retirement income, facing mounting medical expenses.

Now, all of a sudden M-Day is here. We will be moving in less than three weeks. This meant that instead of going along in fourth gear, we had to find the overdrive that we have not used in three years. Even in fourth gear, I have felt that I didn’t have time to maintain my blog as I would have liked. Looking ahead at the next two months, I know my blog is going to have to take a rear seat to the move. So, this is not farewell, it is just good-bye for awhile. I will see you on the other side of the move.

In the meantime, I leave you with this video clip of what the last two months have looked like and what the next two months will look like for us. It combines several of my favorite TV characters, Dr. Who and the Muppets:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mo6QeBmXn18

 

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Experience Is the Best Teacher of Patience and Wisdom

Two of the greatest virtues that humans can possess are patience and wisdom. The following photograph illustrates how the two virtues can be reluctantly brought together. Given the expression of utter frustration on the dog’s face, I am confident that the dog did not learn the patience and wisdom needed in this situation from a stint in obedience school. He knew that he had to give that skunk a wide berth and access to the food bowl. Most likely, he learned the lesson in the experiential school of hard knocks.

 Skunk eating dog's dog food

What’s the relationship among experience, wisdom and patience? Three quotes may help us.

1. By three methods, we may learn wisdom: fIrst by reflection, which is noblest; second by imitation; which is easiest; and third by experience which is the bitterest.” (Confucius)

The expression on the dog’s face reflects a very bitter experience. It certainly helped the dog learn the wisdom of not crossing a skunk.

2.“All human wisdom is summed up in two words: wait and hope.” (Alexandre Dumas).

Although the word patience is not present in the Dumas quote, the close synonym “wait” is front and center. Obviously in the picture, the dog is waiting for the skunk to finish its meal, and hoping that there will be some food left.

3. “Experience is not what happens to you; it’s what you do with what happens to you.” (Aldous Huxley)

Your experiences are not the events that swirl around you. They are the lessons that you learn and appropriate.

To summarize the importance of wisdom, let us go to one of the wisest individuals to ever live. Listen to King Solomon:

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. (Proverbs 4:7 KJV)

I was drawn to the above picture for two reasons. The first reason is my recent experiences with skunks. Since my TBI’s in 2009, I have only smelled the telltale aroma of a skunk once. I no longer “smell” skunks. I see skunks. This is one of my dysesthesia (cross-sensory perceptions). When the aroma of a skunk is in the air, it causes me to see the vision of a dead skunk on an unidentified road. This particular dysesthesia has its own advantage. It protects me from a very unpleasant odor.

The only time I smelled a skunk is another story. One day as my wife and I were riding in our car. I “really” saw a dead skunk along the side of the road. Suddenly, I smelled the pungent aroma. I exclaimed to my wife, “Well, what do you know, I smelled that skunk!” She hesitantly replied, “Honey, I’m sorry but there’s no skunk odor.” She continued by saying that she saw the dead skunk and was very surprised that there was no aroma emanating from it. So instead of ridding myself of this particular cross-sensory perception, I had picked up another hallucination. My memory of skunks had kicked in. The sight of the dead skunk triggered the repressed memory of a non-existent odor.

The second reason this picture fascinated me was the fact that it reminded me of the pet dog I had for 17 years, as I grew up. All he needed was one encounter with a skunk that he had when he was still a puppy. He never messed with one again. Experience was a great teacher, and my dog learned well. Although he was a small fox and rat terrier mix-breed, he was feisty and very jealous of his domain. He was accustomed to chasing any four-legged creature no matter how big or fierce that dared to venture into our yard, except skunks. It was funny watching him trying to herd the cows from our neighbor’s farm back into their own pasture. I often wish I had the foresight to capture the looks of shame and resignation on the faces of the cows as they slowly meandered back into their pasture, and the look of joyful victory on the face of my dog as he barked a couple of taunting “Goodbye and good riddance”  from his side of the fence. He had proudly defended his territory again. He had no fear of huge cows, but he steered clear of skunks.

All of this reminded me of a quote about learning that is usually attributed to Mark Twain: “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.” Please believe, I am not advocating carrying a polecat by the tail unless you want to learn something you and anyone else who comes in contact with you with never forget. I may not be able to “really” smell a skunk now. However, I do remember what their odor smells like, and I do not wish to tempt my sensory perceptions that far.

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Do Computers and Their Owners Look and Behave Like Each Other?

Do Computers and Their Owners Look and Behave Like Each Other?

By Baylis

I am sure many of you have heard the old joke and have seen the pictures that suggest, after a period of time, dogs and their owners begin to look and act alike. I am beginning to wonder if this is true with computers, especially the behavioral aspect. I am pretty sure that I don’t look like my computer.

However, living with aphasia and epilepsy, I am finding that my computer is imitating my symptoms. Recently it had a “grand-mal seizure” when it completely shut down.  It took a day in the “intensive care unit” to bring it back to consciousness and to restore some semblance of usability. Since that seizure, it has had numerous mini-seizures. It will “zone out” for about 30 seconds several times an hour. There appears to be no discernible pattern to these mini-seizures. The tech doctors are prescribing certain procedures to help prevent seizures. However, since they are not sure what the original problem really was, they will not guarantee their solutions will completely prevent another grand-mal seizure. All they can offer is a pledge that these procedures will help reduce the chance of a reoccurrence. For people with epilepsy, does this sound familiar?

Also after that grand-mal seizure, my computer is exhibiting signs of aphasia. It has “lost” programs and files. I know they are in there, but it takes lots of work on my part to find them. Does the computer really have a type of aphasia? Or is it my aphasia not allowing me to find what I want? Either way, the computer is behaving just like me. If my computer starts growing a beard, I am really going to be freaked out.