Words and the Power of Words
Kevin Hall wrote in the introduction to his e-book, “Aspire”,
“We live our lives word by word-to build our relationships, to convey our points of view, to object to wrongs done to us or to others, to comfort our children and our friends. We also use the wrong words-sometimes unknowingly-and get ourselves into situations we’d rather not be in.”
Stephen Covey added these thoughts to the introduction of “Aspire”:
- Words sell and words repel
- Words lead and words impede
- Words heal and words kill
For me, and I suspect for many others with aphasia, each day is a battle for words. We have lost the use of words, and thereby a piece of ourselves. For some of us, the loss is larger than others. For some of us, the loss is more permanent than others. For some of us, we will recover some of our former facility with words. For some of us, that faciIity is gone forever. Each person is different, and will have to live out his or her own story. I don’t want this piece to be discouraging or melancholy. However, attempting to recover words is hard work and everything is not going to be joy and victory. Each day for me is a story of wins and losses. I must learn to savor the victories, the recovery of words, seemingly long forgotten, or the discovery of new words. It’s like a little child being allowed to go to the attic and rummage through the many boxes stored up there. In doing so he finds clothes and toys long forgotten, It can also be like that same child at Christmas opening up presents and finding new things to wear or to play with. With the child in the attic, there are many questions. Why would his parents have taken away that toy in the first place and deprived him of the pleasure of playing with it? However, most of the time there is also great pleasure in having it restored to him. Sometimes the child finds an obviously well-worn sweater that he has no recollection of ever having worn. However, now that it has been restored, it becomes his favorite sweater and he has to wear it every day. With Christmas presents, we know there should be an attitude of thankfulness in receiving something new. However, sometimes we do not feel or show the appreciativeness that we should. Some presents become immediate favorites and we play with them until they are broken. Other presents find their way back into the cabinet and almost never see the light of day. When that happens, did we have too many things to play with or wear? Possibly, however, we should eventually come to realize that the particular gift was meant for our pleasure and we should come to appreciate and use it appropriately. Sometimes the gift slips into the back of the cabinet or dresser and is forgotten about. When that happens, it will eventually be taken to the attic to be stored away until it is brought out again well into the future.
Sometimes there are losses. What should we do with them? Once a wise coach was asked, “How do you expect your team to handle a loss?”. He responded that he did not want his team to dwell on that loss but to take it and learn from it. Is there something we did that we shouldn’t have? Is there something we didn’t do that we should have? Is there something that we could have done better? There are really two aspects for each of those questions. The first aspect is the personal reflection that goes into trying to answer them. Individuals must try to answer those questions for themselves. Those attempts can be very hard work and may not always lead to answers. The second aspect is that sometimes a coach must step in and help the individuals answer the questions. Have you ever heard the expression, “It’s as clear as the nose on your face?” For many of us, we must have a mirror to see the nose on our face. A coach or caregiver must become a mirror to help the individual see his nose.
Leave a Reply